Life of the Party
Why alcohol is no longer the guest of honor.
When I first gave up alcohol in 2021, it wasn’t with the intention of doing it forever. I was simply burned out from a grueling start-up schedule, challenging relationships and, like so many of us, the stress from an unrelenting stream of terrible news about Covid, gun violence and the economy.
My gut and skin issues had flared up, my left shoulder was frozen again and I had noticeable anxiety for the first time in my life. My OBGYN didn’t mince words: “your body is screaming for you to stop. Are you going to listen?”
Something had to give for me to get well. And one of those things was alcohol.
I figured a pause would help me reset so I set off on a 30-day break without much thought.
People Watching
As an extrovert and social butterfly, I didn’t edit my calendar just my drink order. Socializing without a cocktail in hand wasn’t a big deal in my California bubble, where it was common for half of the table to be sober or microdosing mushrooms.
But as the weeks turned to months and my sober curious experiment continued on business trips, vacations and dates, I was greeted with some unexpected (and sometimes uncomfortable) commentary.
“You’re so disciplined. How do you have any fun?”
“C’mon, just have one drink. It’s not a big deal.”
“Why are you not drinking? Do you have a problem?”
“Well I deserve a drink tonight.”
“I know you aren’t drinking but am I allowed to have another one?”
“Your changes do not inspire people, they confront them.”
— Mel Robbins shares a personal moment from a conversation with her husband about his choice to quit drinking Episode 21
Simply by choosing not to drink, I had inadvertently tripped on a few live wires. While it’s common knowledge that alcohol is the most widely used drug in the world, what I bumped up against was our deep emotional bond with it.
My observations of people drinking (and reacting to me not drinking) prompted a deep dive into why we get intoxicated, how we perceive it to be beneficial and what it actually does to our physical health, mental state and quality of our relationships.
Great Expectations
Before you roll your eyes at this almost teetotaler who lives in LA, let me give you some context. I literally spent the last 20 years as alcohol’s publicist and party planner.
My clients were champagne and vodka brands. I hosted wine pairings with Michelin-starred chefs. I created content for Diageo, a global liquor conglomerates, where I wrote, with enthusiasm, about the perfect spirit to accompany each occasion, complete with recipes and party decoration.
As a social drinker myself, I was completely bought in to the idea that alcohol had a starring role in all of life’s moments whether big or small, happy or sad. It was a cure-all promising to help me relax, have a good time, enhance my palette and even get into the mood — as long as I didn’t “overindulge.”
Yet after an exploratory year of not drinking (and feeling more connected and relaxed) while doing all the things that typically called for a spiked beverage, I discovered that alcohol can actually do the opposite of what it promises.
Neuroscientist Dr Josh Kaplan, PhD confirmed that alcohol triggers our reward center activating a dopamine and serotonin response — giving us a big wave of pleasure and relaxation with the first drink. However, for most of us, it plummets a few hours later leaving us craving another drink and chasing the feel good feeling only to end up more sedated, intoxicated and anxious.
I was shocked to find out that just a few drinks a week can raise our baseline cortisol and create more anxiety even on days that we are not imbibing. 1 Seriously, what?!
Guest of Honor No More
Alcohol is like that charming, incorrigible friend that always gets away with it. They get the credit for being the life of the party, forgiven for making a mess and invited back because we can’t imagine a good time without them.
But, this party guest is starting to fall out of favor.
Gallup: 35 to 54 year olds are most likely to drink alcohol (70%), compared to Gen Zers (60%) . Almost 28% of college-aged adults now don’t drink at all.
WHO issued a statement saying no amount of alcohol was safe.2
Canada rolled back their safety guidelines for low-risk alcohol consumption from ten drinks a week to two.3 CCSA report recommends warning labels on bottles.
Despite the mounting evidence (over the past 20 years) about the dangers of alcohol, it’s unrealistic to think that all of us are ready or even willing to go cold turkey. And with billions of dollars being poured into advertising by Big Alcohol, the health warnings will likely be drowned out by “rosé all day.”
After my physical and mental health radically improved, I couldn’t deny that alcohol was no longer serving me (and, questioned, if it ever did). Most people think of alcohol’s negative effects as long term or in the abstract future, but in fact it impacts the quality of your skin, sleep, cognition, sexual performance and pleasure in the present.
Drinking is now a rare occasion for me but I realize that the choice is very personal. For those who are sober curious, an edit to their habits might look like pausing for a week or being more intentional about why they drink so it’s not a mindless, default option.
Perhaps an easy first step is simply checking in with yourself about how this topic makes you feel. Does it evoke feelings of curiosity or defensiveness? Does it make you want to leave me a heated comment? (for the record, i’m welcoming all opinions and respectful dialogue)
The bottom line: Let’s find a way to enjoy ourselves and have fun but not at any cost, especially that of our health.
I’ll explore how to swap alcohol with other mood-boosting substances and feel-good brain hacks in another post.
Sorry for being a buzz kill
When the bartender leans over and says, “pick your poison,” unfortunately they are not being metaphorical.
“I think most people don't realize that being drunk is a poison-induced disruption in the way your neural circuits work.”
— Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman
Let’s look at the sobering scientifically-based facts…
Alcohol is a carcinogen. Ethanol is Class 1 along with tobacco and asbestos. When alcohol converts into acetaldehyde, it’s actually a poison that kills or damages our cells, increasing our risk of many cancers — even at three drinks a week.
Alcohol is a neurotoxin. Both water and fat soluble, it is one of the few substances that crosses the blood-brain barrier. According to Dr Sarah Gottfried, “after ages 35-40, the BBB gets thinner, so alcohol hits harder and hangovers linger longer.” A damaged BBB is linked to memory issues, stroke and Alzheimer’s disease.
Alcohol is a bactericidal. Similar but weaker than antibiotics, it destroys the balance of bacteria in the gut microbiome which negatively impacts our immune system, digestion, and serotonin production thus affecting our mood. (PMID: 34299105)
Tips for managing consumption and mitigating risk
If you choose to imbibe, take some precautions. No judgements here, just helpful tips.
Your choice of drink matters. Spirits are 35-40% alcohol by volume (ABV). A glass of wine is 11% and a pint of beer is 5%. Choose clear spirits such as tequila or vodka and mix with soda. Look for sugar-free mocktails with mood boosting adaptogens. Bottle shops Boisson and Sechey have a great selection of NA wine, beer and spirits.
Eat before your drink. Alcohol is absorbed through the stomach lining right into your blood stream. Having a meal with 20g of protein and 5g of fiber can reduce alcohol bioavailability by up to 50%. (PMID: 31755823)
Reduce your intake as you get older. Your ability to metabolize alcohol lessens as you age. It can take 3 hours in your 20’s and 33 hours in your 40’s.4 Your liver prioritizes the detoxification of alcohol which means it can increase the potency of medications while simultaneously reducing nutrient absorption.5
Skip the Tylenol. Acetaminophen converts a small byproduct into a toxic substance which needs glutathione to minimize its detrimental effects. Regular heavy alcohol consumption depletes the liver of glutathione and combined with acetaminophen can cause acute liver damage. Manage your hangover with electrolytes instead.
Celia’s Recommendations
Some thought-provoking and helpful resources to support your journey and help you make informed decisions as you pursue your personal health goals.
Podcast: The Huberman Lab - What Alcohol Does to your Body, Brain & Health
Podcast: Move with Heart by Melissa Wood - Life with No Alcohol
This post is a personal story about my experience with alcohol. I realize that there are many people who struggle with substance dependence. If you or someone you know is in need of help, please contact a medical professional or addiction specialist.
All writing is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I quit drinking in 2013 as a New Year's resolution. Once I realized how much better I felt, I decided to make it a lifelong lifestyle change. We need to keep the conversation going so more people understand you can live quite a fulfilling life without imbibing.
Great piece!!!