You're Doing Dry January Wrong

How a dose of pleasure can rewire your relationship with drinking — and transform your mocktail into a mindset shift.

Spoiler: it’s the not the cocktail that makes it a good time. (John van Pamer)

Let me guess — you’re doing Dry January and reached that point when you’re counting the days until you can, “have fun again.” You’ve cut out alcohol, but along with it, all of the warm feelings and good times you’ve come to associate with drinking.

And therein lies the problem.

We start with good intentions — but approach it in a way that feels like a punishment. Maybe we pile on extra lofty goals like cutting out sugar or hitting the gym three times a week.

This “all or nothing” mindset isn’t much different than a crash diet and we all know how those end. The cycle of restriction and relapse doesn’t only fuel your frustration; it also feeds a wellness industry profiting from your failed attempts.

My clients and long time readers of this substack all know that I don’t subscribe to a life of deprivation in the name of health. Abstaining from things that bring you pleasure runs counter to our nature.

However, I do think we can outsmart our biology. Instead of fighting our tendencies, what if we leaned into them? What if we could create a social experience that feels just as pleasurable but without the booze?

Who’s in?

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“Pleasure teaches your brain that a behavior is worth remembering and repeating”

— James Clear, Atomic Habits

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I believe that the brilliance of alcohol marketing is its ability to fuse life’s most beautiful moments with the perfect drink, creating a connection that feels almost impossible to break.

Even though we understand the substantial health risks of alcohol¹, our brain craves the instant gratification it delivers, prioritizing the present gain over the long term benefit.

This is why Dry January often fails to stick. Instead of building healthier habits, it can reinforce the belief that no alcohol = no fun. If we sit at home alone, drink only water and attempt to adhere to some puritanical resolution, we end up accomplishing the opposite.

James Clear of the legendary book, Atomic Habits explains the Cardinal Rule of Behavior Change: What is immediately rewarded is repeated. What is immediately punished is avoided.

The truth is, the joy you associate with alcohol isn’t from the drink itself — it’s from the activity, the experience, and the connection. To truly rewire this association, we need to intentionally seek out and savor pleasurable new behaviors that aren’t dependent on drinking.

With this in mind, I have a prescription for fun without booze that is centered around using sensory activity to tap our reward system.

Ready to play?

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Reading this substack is an investment in your health. Help me continue to create this content and grow this community—we are rebelling and redefining what it means to “be well.”

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🍹 Turn Dry January into a pleasure seeking exercise and let’s see how the tables turn…

When we repeatedly engage in new, rewarding activities without using alcohol, we can strengthen neural pathways associated with those behaviors. In essence we can “reallocate” the source of pleasure to less harmful alternatives.

1. Do your favorite activity: Preferably one that engages the senses such as music and dancing, which releases GABA, reduces anxiety and triggers a sense of joy.

2. Socialize with people you love: Connection amplifies pleasure. Group activities increase oxytocin to reinforce the experience.

3. Try a new activity that sparks novelty and wonder: Hands-on arts and crafts can promote a flow state and tactile satisfaction.

4. Play a group game: Light competition triggers dopamine through fun and achievement, releasing endorphins through laughter and excitement.

5. Reimagine your beverage: Make a delicious mocktail to satisfy the sensory ritual of taste, aroma and the act of sipping, which is psychologically tied to enjoyment. Little Saints and Ghia are two of my favorite NA choices.

Give these a try, enjoy every moment and let me know how it goes!

Note: These recommendations can be done at any time of year. Forget Dry January —who says we need to make big changes in the dead of winter.

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Little Saints Mezcal-Inspired Spirit | Ghia Mocktail Spritz

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The takeaway: Don’t change your social schedule, just your drink order. Abstaining from fun while trying to give up alcohol reinforces the wrong message. Instead boost your feel good chemicals by doing activities that stimulate the same reward system for a healthier, more sustainable way to change your habits.

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My very first Substack post about my journey giving up alcohol and still one of the most read.

1. New York Times — U.S. Surgeon General Calls for Cancer Warnings on Alcohol